cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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