just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I touched a dick in church today
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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