I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
