It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
