I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
