i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
