I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
