yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
