listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize