3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I currently don't understand fingers.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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