dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
