you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
