if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
