yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize