When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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