We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
