I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
