WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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