I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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