She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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