if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
