i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
