kristin has been a bad kristin
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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