Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
