We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
