i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize