I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
