just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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