i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
