just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
