I want to walk on stilts...naked
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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