I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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