I hate your face
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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