man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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