also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Randomize
