She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
