it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
