Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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