we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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