you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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