You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
