If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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