I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
