how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize