I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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