well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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