Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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