My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
