Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I didn't notice because vodka
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
