Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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