yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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