New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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