I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
pop tarts are not kleenex
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
