Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
