why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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