so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
