My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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