Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
