corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I don't deserve a penis
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
